Why We Created CosyChats
CosyChats was inspired by a simple conversation during our IVF journey. This is the personal story of how that moment led to creating a place where parents can find others whose experiences feel relevant to their own and share those experiences through one-to-one conversations.
🌿 It Started in an IVF Waiting Room
CosyChats didn’t begin as a business idea.
It began with a conversation.
🧬 A Journey That Felt Lonely
During our IVF journey, we spent countless hours in waiting rooms.
The IVF clinic itself was housed in an old Victorian building, which I remember less by how it looked and more by the sounds that filled it.
There was a buzzer at the entrance every time someone arrived. Heavy wooden doors opened and closed throughout the day. You’d hear footsteps in the corridor, quiet conversations, names being called, then another solid door closing as someone disappeared into the next stage of their appointment.
The rhythm seemed endless.
People arriving full of hope.
People leaving carrying relief, disappointment, uncertainty—or simply another wait until the next appointment.
The sounds became strangely familiar. Almost mechanical. As if the building never stopped moving. Couples and individuals continuously coming and going, each carrying a story that nobody else in the waiting room really knew.
We were all there for the same reason, yet every journey felt deeply personal.
Despite being surrounded by people, it was remarkably easy to feel completely alone.
Everyone was carrying their own hopes, fears and disappointments, but nobody was really talking.
IVF is an intensely personal journey. Every appointment can feel like it might change your life. Success and failure are never far from your thoughts, and you’re constantly trying to stay hopeful while wondering what happens if this attempt doesn’t work.
For me, there was also the constant anxiety about whether we could afford another attempt if this one didn’t work. Every appointment, every treatment and every setback carried not only an emotional cost but also a financial one.
It often felt as though our entire future rested on a single pregnancy test. There was no grey area. It was positive or negative. Success or failure. In those moments, it was hard not to let the result define how I saw myself, even though I know now that it never should have.
Alongside that came feelings that were much harder to admit. I worried about letting my partner down. I questioned whether my body had failed us. There were moments when I wondered if I had somehow become a failure because we couldn’t do something that seemed to come so easily to other people.
People tell you to relax because relaxing helps, but hearing that can sometimes make you feel even more anxious, as though you’re somehow responsible for the outcome if you can’t. Looking around the waiting room, you could often see those same emotions written on other people’s faces, even though none of us were saying them out loud.
Our clinic also offered access to a counsellor, and I know that kind of support is valuable for many people. At the time, though, it didn’t feel right for me. Emotionally, it felt like something I would have to invest myself in, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.
The truth is, I don’t think I really knew what I needed.
⚡ A Conversation We Never Expected
One day, while I was sitting in the waiting room before an appointment, someone sat down beside me.
After a few moments they asked,
“Is this your first time?”
I nodded and said,
“Yes.”
They gave a knowing smile and replied,
“We’re on our second round.”
There was a brief pause before they added,
“I still don’t know what’s worse… the waiting or the injections.”
I smiled and replied,
“I know exactly what you mean.”
That was all it took.
There was no need to explain the injections, the waiting, the disappointment, the hope, or the emotional rollercoaster that comes with fertility treatment.
We already knew.
We spoke for a while. Mostly about how difficult IVF could be, but also about hope.
For the first time in a long while, I felt I didn’t have to explain myself.
Eventually my name was called, and we both went our separate ways.
I never saw that person again.
But I never forgot that conversation.
It was only afterwards that I realised why it had stayed with me.
I hadn’t needed advice.
I hadn’t needed someone to tell me what to do.
I hadn’t needed someone with all the answers.
What I’d needed was a real conversation with someone whose journey felt relevant to my own.
Someone who was on a similar journey, or had already been on that journey themselves.
Not because they had the answers.
Not because they could tell me what to do.
Simply because they could share honestly what the journey had been like for them.
The person I met that day happened to be on their second round of IVF. They weren’t speaking from a position of expertise or trying to point me in a particular direction. They were simply sharing what the journey had been like for them while listening to what it was like for me.
Someone ordinary. Someone genuine. Someone willing to talk honestly about the hope, the disappointment, the waiting, the uncertainty, and the moments that aren’t always spoken about.
For a little while, I didn’t have to explain every part of our journey or pretend everything was okay.
It was simply two people sharing their own experiences.
Looking back, I realised that was the conversation I’d been searching for all along—I just hadn’t known it until I’d had it.
💭 The Question That Stayed With Me
Long after our IVF journey had ended, one question kept coming back to me.
Why was it so difficult to find conversations like that?
Not with experts.
Not in large online groups.
Just one ordinary conversation with someone whose experiences felt genuinely relevant to your own.
🌱 The Idea Behind CosyChats
That single conversation planted the seed for what would eventually become CosyChats.
I realised that many parents aren’t necessarily looking for someone with all the answers.
Sometimes they’re simply looking for another parent whose parenting journey or family experiences feel relevant to their own.
Someone they can have an honest conversation with.
Someone whose experiences mean the conversation can begin naturally, without having to explain every detail first.
Shared experiences create a natural starting point.
They don’t define the conversation—they simply make it easier for two people to begin one.
Sometimes that’s all a conversation needs.
💬 What CosyChats Is
CosyChats helps parents find other parents whose parenting journeys or family experiences feel relevant to their own.
Every conversation is based on lived experience.
Parents simply share what family life has been like for them and the experiences they are living or have lived.
No coaching.
No counselling.
No professional advice.
Just real conversations between parents.
🌿 Our Story Continued
Our own journey eventually led us to adoption and to our three very different, very wonderful children.
Like every parent, we’re still learning as they grow, facing new challenges and discovering new experiences we never expected.
Years later, I found myself thinking back to that conversation in the IVF waiting room.
I realised that what had stayed with me wasn’t advice or expertise.
It was the feeling of talking to someone whose experiences felt familiar enough that the conversation could begin naturally.
That thought stayed with me long enough that I eventually decided to leave my office job and take a chance on building CosyChats.
Because if one unexpected conversation in an IVF waiting room could make me feel I didn’t have to explain myself, perhaps making those conversations easier to find could do the same for other parents.
That belief is still at the heart of everything we do today.
🌿 Protecting Our Children’s Story
Our own story didn’t end with IVF. It continued through adoption and into the everyday realities of raising our three children.
There is so much more of our journey that we could share.
But one of the commitments we’ve made as adoptive parents is to protect our children’s privacy.
Their stories belong to them.
As they grow older, they should have the freedom to decide what they want to share about their own lives, in their own time and in their own way.
For that reason, while we’re always happy to share our own experiences as parents, you’ll notice that we deliberately keep the focus away from the personal details of our children.
We hope you’ll understand that this isn’t about secrecy.
It’s about giving them the privacy, dignity and space that every child deserves.
Find. Talk. Share Experiences.
I still don’t know the name of the person who sat beside me that day.
They probably have no idea that a five-minute conversation would eventually inspire CosyChats.
But it did.
Sometimes one conversation really can change everything.
❤️ Thank You
CosyChats is still growing, and we’re grateful to everyone who believes in what we’re trying to build.
Whether you book a conversation, become a parent on CosyChats or help in your own way, thank you for being part of the journey.