Teenage years—where the eye rolls are fierce, the Wi-Fi is sacred, and your once chatty 10-year-old now communicates mostly in grunts.
You had thought that the nappies, sleepless nights or terrible twos were the hard bit, but how could you of been so wrong? Teenage years can be the most challenging.
If you’re a parent in the UK raising a teen, you’re not alone in wondering how your sweet little child morphed overnight into a human hurricane of hormones, sass, opinions, and playlists. You once thought all the things you had heard were clichés but while raising a teenager can be challenging, it’s also one of the most rewarding chapters of parenting – I promise!
The Teenage Rollercoaster (Hold On Tight). Teenage years and how to cope.
Let’s not sugar coat it—this stage comes with mood swings, messy rooms, and moments where you question everything (including your decision to buy them a phone). Teenagers are testing limits, figuring out who they are, and pushing back as part of their journey toward independence. It’s natural. Exhausting, yes, but very natural.
One minute they’re asking for a hug, and the next they’re yelling because you suggested they wear a coat. It’s not personal (even when it feels like it is). Their brains are rewiring at a rapid pace, and they’re navigating friendships, social pressures, exams, and identities—all while trying to appear cool. I said teenage years are some of the most difficult.
The Bright Side (Yes, There Is One!)
For all the slamming doors and monosyllabic answers, there are golden moments. Watching your teenager develop their own opinions, sense of humour and new hobbies or passions is genuinely thrilling. They’re on a journey of self-discovery—and that developing person is often pretty brilliant. Sometimes the best part is when they figure it all out on their own.
Plus, teenagers today are much more socially aware, open-minded, and creative than ever. They care about the world, they speak up for what right, and when you do get them is talking (tip: try in the car or over a late-night snack), they’ll surprise you with their insight. Whether it’s about politics, the latest Netflix series, or why they think Marmite is overrated. Your chats are a window into their world, strengthening your connection.
Challenges That Shape You Both
- Open Communication: It’s a constant dance between giving them space and staying connected. The key? Listen more than you speak and wait for them to be ready. Ask questions that don’t start with “Why didn’t you…?” and don’t underestimate the power of just being around.
- Puberty: As well as all the insecurities, exams, and peer pressure they are a torrent of hormones and rapid physical changes in a world obsessed with appearances. And if you ever forget just remember how they seemed a whole foot shorter last week.
- Technology & Social Media: The digital world is where they live. Rather than completely banning it (and becoming that parent), get curious. Ask them what they’re watching or who they follow. It’s a window into their world, and they’ll appreciate your interest (even if they pretend not to) and you can still protect them.
- School: The teenage years are unfortunately the same period of time when the pressures and expectations of education can be at their highest. Make sure they take time out and consider getting good advice on the directions they could take – without too much pressure. Starting a career they enjoy should be an exciting adventure!
- Boundaries: Teens need rules—but ones that grow with them. Be flexible on freedoms where you can, firm where it matters, and consistent overall. They may push back, but they actually feel safer knowing there’s a net. Don’t be frightened to move the goalposts as they evolve into self-sufficient semi-adults while gradually encouraging independence and responsibility.
- Empathy: Try to remember how being a teenager felt for you, including the arguments you had with your parents (if you can still remember!)
- Assumptions: Don’t rush to assume that they are just being moody, or that being a teenager is the same for them as it is for you. Open up and wait for them to explain how it is for them. Some of the pressures they are now under and different and worse in many ways.
- Kindness: Sometimes it just best, not matter what they said to you, to just bite your tongue and take it on the chin. Still do the little things for them you did when they were younger, smaller and sweeter. They would never admit it but they still need you, love you and you make them feel safe.
Final Thoughts: This Too Shall Pass (And Then You’ll Miss It)
Raising a teenager is tough—but so are you. You’re guiding a young adult into the world, and that’s no small feat. The tantrums may have turned into debates and the bedtime stories into late-night heart-to-hearts, but your presence matters just as much now as it did when they were little – even if they aren’t as willing to show it. Celebrate every small win with patience and tireless encouragement.
So take a breath, laugh when you can, and remember: you’re not raising a teenager forever—you’re raising a future adult to be proud of. And you’re doing a pretty amazing job.
Drew is a stay at home parent from the UK. Drew has navigated parenting and taking on the stay at home dad parenting role. Drew is a content provider as well as a parent who offers support and guidance on CosyChats.com
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