Is Whats App Right For Children

My wife's phones bleeps when messages are received into her school parents Whats App group. You know when somethings up as the bleeps get more frequent and the interval between bleeps shortens.

Its like artillery in a war, each side exchanging salvos of fire. The salvos getting more intense as the argument escalates. Its easy for parents to be drawn into Whats App arguments so its not surprising children do the same.

The message are usually to do with a school (children's) Whats App group and the messages the children have sent. Whats App (and other messaging platforms) allow easy communication between members and like any group there will be disagreement that can escalate.

The problem is there is no moderator within the group. The children are exchanging messages quickly and without consideration for what they are saying.

Are children mature enough to use Whats App?

Whats App has an age restriction of 13 but this is just an arbitrary number. It doesn't mean on your child's 13th birthday they are mature and equipped enough to use Whats App. Previously it was 16 before Meta reduced it.

The golden question. Is your child ready for Whats App?

Are they mature enough? Sufficiently technology literature? Old enough not to be drawn into harmful conversations? Strong enough to know when to drop off and speak out?

Our son has a phone but he doesn't have Whats App or other messaging access (don't think the problem is just Whats App).

We don't think he's mature or ready for Whats App. His friends have it and its causing problems.

Things are shared that cause issues. Some aren't age appropriate. Comments are made and conversations happen that draw in parents, school and sometimes police. I feel sorry for the school being drawn into conversations on messaging platforms that really have nothing to do with the school day. You can argue Whats App is just the platform for the messaging and this is true.

It is the platform that allows such easy communication but without Apps App does the same communication and issues happen?

Well no based on this schools experience.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxy1n9dgl3o

'Phone and shouting ban 'transforms' school plagued by fights

Fights arranged in school via social media, then filmed and shared online.

Almost overnight, exclusions [for violence] reduced," said head teacher Mike Tate, who introduced the ban at the secondary school in Ely, Cardiff, last summer.'

Technology makes communication easier. Which is an amazing and beneficial thing in the right hands but children need to be educated to be technology literate. Schools need to play their part in educating children and instilling good behaviours and understanding in children.

Parents also need to step up and realise that phones are gateways to the world but also a portal to a crazy and unregulated world of chatter, threats abuse bullying and never ending messaging.

Every parent want to protect their child and for our son we feel he's not ready for that yet. He wants what his friends have. To be included but the sound of my wife's phones bleeping as parents struggle to resolve Whats App messaging issues strengthens my resolve not to allow him onto Whats App until we're sure he's ready for it.

I wonder in years to come if we'll look back and wonder why we gave school children such powerful and dangerous tools but I doubt it.

I don't think society will ever catch up. The demand for technology is huge and as a society we can't complain when we are fueling the demand for every increasingly sophisticated apps and devices but and its a huge but, as parents we must understand and protect our children from technology until they are equipped and able to manage it.

You wouldn't let your child drive a car to school. Cars are as safe as they've ever been but in the wrong hands still incredibly dangerous things capable of such destruction and misery. Think of a phone and Whats App access in the same terms. Safe in the right hands, destructive in the wrong and if you think there is no comparison between the destructive power of a phone and a car. Then I think your wrong and we all need to educate ourselves.

This isn't a all technology is bad post. Technology is amazing but with every amazing thing comes responsibility and risk. The risk of bulling so harmful that it impacts child's life and well being. The risk of a petty argument escalating into a fight with tragic consequences. As sad and avoidable as it is, it happens and we as parents must understand the risks.

We have taken the view of being safer than sorry and for our son now, he's not ready for Whats App access. I'm sure we'll agree to it at some point but only when were sure he's ready and able to deal with it and everything it brings.

Whats App is widely used as example in this blog as Whats App is the most widely platform used we believe but there are others messaging apps Viber, Signal, Snapchat, Discord, Telegram.

This blog was written by a father of three adopted children. A family that deals with everything adoption and life brings. Like every parent and family we don't get everything right. Far from it but we are trying our best every day to get as much right and right for us as we can.

Best wishes to you all. Parenting is not easy and doesn't get any easier.

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