School holidays how to survive 6 weeks with your children

School holidays how to survive 6 weeks with your children.

School holidays are a time of holidays and a break from school. School holidays can fill parents with dread and fear.  6 weeks with your children can seem daunting. School holidays can be a nightmare for some parents who find it difficult to spend time with their children.  6 weeks is a long time.

School holiday time doesn’t fly when you aren’t having fun 😟

The school holidays are too long. Parents are exhausted. Kids are over it. Lord have mercy | Isabelle Oderberg | The Guardian

The thought of having to spend 6 weeks school holiday time with your children can send a sense of dread and fear through many parents

Every August, around the country, you might overhear parents saying the same thing

😟“ Six weeks school holidays is just too long, they were bored after the first week!”

😟 “I had to take yet another day off work because I can’t get childcare”

😟“ I can’t wait for September, they don’t pay these teachers enough!”

The last day of Summer term was a mixed bag of emotions for me.

Hi, I’m Drew, and I’m a stay at home father.

Relief, that I had a break from four hours a day doing school runs on four buses

Pride, that my son had finished another year, and he was doing OK

Apprehension, about spending the school holiday with him and not having any free time to myself

Worry, about having the extra money to feed and entertain him.

Excitement, for the bike rides, computer games and picnics we would have.

More worry, would we get on, or could it be too much time together?

or do I never see him and miss out.?

The usual routine becomes suspended.

School days provide routine. They get up, go to school, come back, relax and eventually go to bed and then again repeat the next day. Routine is good for children and as holidays don’t have the same routine, parents can struggle with what routine to keep and what to let go for the holidays.

Also, during the long summer holidays break, many parents don’t have the access to either free school meals or daycare. Financial routines can disappear as well.

Holiday Guilt

Parents can feel guilty if they can't afford to take their children away on a good holiday. It is important to remember that for children it is your love and time over all things they value. They will forget the places you went to. The best days and experiences are together. IF you can’t afford a holiday, don’t dwell on what you're not doing and concentrate on what you can do together.

Holidays abroad are nice but in my experience children are happy with you.  Never forget that.  We've had some great memories (and plenty of tears and tantrums)  playing games on our kitchen table.

Managing expectations on you and your limitations as a parent.

As a stay home dad for me, another problem aside from keeping my son entertained on a lower budget was needing to manage my own mental health.

Six week school holidays with few breaks from an energetic young child requires pacing and taking some me-time whenever possible.

I would remember those early days, where the requirements of a preschool child weighed intensely on me, both mentally and physically. Fearing a return to 24/7 parenting with no respite or break, and the effects it took upon my mental health. I have the temperament that needs quiet periods occasionally, some time to be just me. The demands of young children contradict this.

Conversely, I came to realise that a school age child is not the same, and a high school child is different completely. The older they are, the less intense, the easier (mostly!) it became but be mindful or your own limitations.

Looking after yourself

You need to look after yourself in order to care for other people, children especially.  Its that simple really.  Burn yourself out and it benefits no one.

Time out

If you can get an evening or more to yourself, by asking for a friend or relative's help, a few hours to yourself can be just enough to reset and refresh yourself.  If not an evening a break in the day.  Take whatever breaks you can, wherever you can.  Take relaxation and time out breaks.  I've sat on the toilet and just closed my eyes. Please don't judge,🙂 it works for me.

School holidays can be long. Building time outs for yourself helps give you a break.  Even if it is just a few minutes.

De-stress

Stress creeps into your life. You can't leave work behind. Other things are on you your mind.  Write them down, what you will do.  How you will manage them and put them away.  Create a break for time with your son.

If your under stress and it affecting you as a parent be aware of it and own it.  Stress is a difficult condition and its not easy but don't let it impact you and you as a parent.

Activities and doing things can help. For me and my son, I would often have a Nerf gun fight. It was a fun bonding experience, and really stress relieving.

Hobbies

Find your passion, or a passion you can afford the time or money to enjoy and make it part of your routine. Listen to music, have a coffee out or go for a run.  Walks are great as is moving and getting light, especially in the winter.

TIPS FOR YOUR TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

CHILDCARE, OUT OF YOUR HAIR

If your child is still quite young, and you have to work, then you may have no choice but to call on childcare during the six weeks. This could be family based, a scheme the school runs, or private support. Luckier parents might have childcare with their employer or can take them to work with them.

Working from home more can help and employers and your colleagues, i understand,  are usually sympathetic to this so long as its not too disturbing.

As a parent, looking after your child at home is a good way to survive the six-week break and reduce childcare costs.  If you both work and can tag team it then that works even better.  Whatever works, works.

Older children can have childcare too.

Whether this is a day or so with a grandparent, an aunt, or even a family friend, it gives you a much-needed break. Often the person sitting for you will love the time they get with your child, the change of scene is refreshing for the child, and it gives you a chance to reset.

Just don't call it childcare,😂 its not cool apparently.

ROUTINES MAKE THE DREAM WORK

When my son finishes the school year, his holiday starts as he no longer has a rigid timetable, There is usually little or no homework and he no longer a needs to be up at 7am. People young and old all need time away from their responsibilities, but how much lack of routine can be healthy?

Some structure in a day can reduce boredom, help the holiday pass smoother, and can be a great way of preserving good mental health. As you get closer to restarting formal school days, the more routine lost, the harder it is to resume it. Split the day into sections and see how it passes so much smoother and feels less of a chore.

The activities they have as part of this routine can also be bonding tasks that help parents get through the holiday, and things that teach children life skills. Cook together, shop together, ask them to do some basic chores like cleaning up.

You want your children to enjoy their holidays and a break from the school routine does this but a routine, even if its just teeth cleaning and basic things help anchor your child to normality.  For SEN children the routine is more  important and the assurance it provides more of an emotional anchor.

FREE TIME. FUN TIMES

All parents want to spoil their children. We can’t help it. We want our children to be happy, we want them to feel loved. Possibly we compete with other parents, deliberately or not. Often we focus on giving them a childhood experience like ours, even better than ours.

In a cost of living crisis, even parents working in good jobs might find it hard to give their children experiences they think they need to. It's all so much more expensive now, after paying for tickets for a day out: you still need to travel there, to eat, for an ice cream and maybe a gift.

Look back to your own childhood and remember what was important, really. Those days out, of course they’re exciting, but often soon forgotten. The quality family time, the moments of cherished love, are in the quieter moments spent together. The times away from roller coasters and sugar maybe more bonding and memorable than you think.

Play football in the park, cook together, go cycling. Paint pictures. Of course, there's nothing wrong with a theme park or expensive holiday.

But don’t be fooled into thinking it is necessary or needed to show your love.

CHERISH THE MOMENTS

Trust me, parenting is very well described by the expression:

“ Long hours and short days.”

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the minute to minute stresses and let those golden memories pass you by. Not only do cute toddlers quickly become sassy teenagers, no longer wanting to be near their parents, but all too soon after they are adults and starting their own life.

Time away from school is a chance to experience moments to cherish. The times I taught my son to ride his bike, the trips to the swings and playing a whole computer game together are etched deeply into my mind. Letting them choose the bonding activities is critical, taking them to the football team you love will make you both miserable if they don’t enjoy it. I never anticipated dying my son’s hair purple, but I can’t argue we didn't bond while doing it.😱

Use some techniques of mindfulness and be fully present, second by precious second, in those irreplaceable magic moments together. these are the memories that will live with you forever and are worth all the money in the world.

PACE IT TO MAKE IT

Six week school holiday is a longtime to spend with your child during the summer. If you don’t want to be exhausted after the first week, it is a great idea to pace yourself. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

There is a good chance that you have other things to do anyway, and it’s a great life lesson for your child to learn the patience to wait for things, and to plan ahead. Of course, if you plan on doing activities that cost money, then you have no choice but spread them out to make it affordable. Also, if you do lots of activities in the first weeks, paid or not, then you will have none left to do in the final weeks, or you will be bored with doing them.

Top tip do something nice in the last week before school returns to take their mind off of it.

HELP GOES BOTH WAYS

As parents, we start our children's lives needing to do everything for them. We go through a constant state of adjusting to them learning new abilities. Sometimes we feel proud, and eventually, sometimes we miss doing some of it for them. Pushing a pram becomes walking alongside them, they learn to speak, they go to school and before long they hardly need you at all. In fact, they resent you trying to help them,

School holidays is a great chance to up-end this. Depending on age, your child can help with the things that require doing around the home, such as cooking or cleaning up. Even a young child can pass you things or cut vegetables. Apart from taking a little stress away from you, it keeps them busy, you have quality bonding time together and they can learn vital skills.

TOUCHING GRASS OR YOUTUBE AND SNACKS

I feel old saying this, but when I was my son’s age:

There was no Internet. No mobile phones. There were four TV channels. Very few people regularly played computer games.

My school holidays were often about whole days of long bike rides and football in the park. I have always been a nerd, but computer games were for a couple of hours and then my parents sent me out into the fresh air.

The world is now a different place. I don’t think technology and playing computer games is bad in itself. Parents find the world a scarier place for their children, and danger lurks on every corner. Maybe there is less open space, but at least hopefully there is a park. My son, and even I, socialise and enjoy so much that is digital and requires electricity.

Whatever the weather there are wide open spaces, exercise, fresh air and all the positives they bring to your child's mental, and physical health.

Nostalgia, as they say, is not what it used to be.

The Internet puts the world of information, education, and friends globally at his fingertips. Many parents are also terrified of letting their children out unsupervised. But, if it's not raining, and there’s no school, let's go for a walk in the park? YouTube will still be there when we get back.

MIX IT UP, CAMP IN THE GARDEN

Entertaining (young) children for what can be around 42 days and nights can require some creative thinking, especially if you don't want to rob a bank.

Some routine and repetition can be comforting, especially for younger children, but mixing things up can make things more exciting and make some real, and affordable, memories.

Have a picnic in the park. Watch a movie in the garden as the sunsets. Eat brunch in bed. Have a pyjama day Sleep under the stars.

Do something out of the ordinary and dare i say 'reckless' 😱

TIRED KIDS, QUIET NIGHTS

Speaking as someone that has raised young children and owned several puppies, I will say, tongue in cheek, they have much in common. They wake up very early, make a mess, cost a small fortune, steal your heart, and you can’t wait for them to be toilet trained. Just like with puppies, if you walk them to the park and run around chasing a ball, they will be exhausted and sleep early, giving you the space to relax, reset and have some ‘me’ time.

keeping your routine helps. Tired children going to be as usual is good.  Tired children staying up later and becoming over tired children isn't

 

IDLE MIND, RESTING MIND

The current generation is a TikTok generation. The phone screen, the computer, the game console, and YouTube tirelessly scream for your children's attention. For my son, gaming and the Internet is how he relaxes, how he socialises even. But nobody should spend six weeks just looking at a screen. This cannot be healthy. A brain is a muscle, and a child’s mind is a growing muscle. All muscles need rest, and boredom in children should be embraced because an unstimulated mind is a resting mind. This is important as a break from days at school, especially near GCSEs.

In fact, as adults, boredom is just part of everyday life. It is just something we need to live with.

TEEN SON, FREEDOM WON

I cared for my son as a stay home dad for all of his school holidays. Children mature at different rates, but they will progress from requiring your full attention every minute to not needing you hardly at all. Somewhere in the middle, you will be able to leave them unsupervised to do the things you need to do, maybe even working. Speaking personally, during primary school for my son, August could feel like the start of a temporary full-time childcare job with long hours and bad pay. Now, it just feels like I see my son around a bit more than normal, and occasionally we hang out, just like two adult buddies,

SIX WEEKS IS NOT FOREVER

At the start of the school holidays, it feels like an eternity. But if you stick to some routines, find ways to bond, and treat them to a mix of free and cheaper activities, it will pass in a blink of an eye. Maybe, come September, you will even miss the picnics and making lunch together.

WATCHING THE PENNIES, SAVING THE POUNDS

Every family might feel the pinch during a long school holiday. Thirty percent of children in the UK are living in poverty, changing a stressful time into a terrifying time. There is help though, and you should never be frightened to ask for it, your child deserves it. Many local authorities provide vouchers or food for children that usually get free school meals in term time. Local councils provide emergency funding to eligible families that are struggling. If you are struggling to pay for food, there are now many food banks that can provide free, or very cheap food. Some can you go to directly, others you need to be referred.

Never be ashamed to ask friends or relatives for help. Your children deserve the best you can, and the vast majority of friends and family will be happy to help. One day it may well be you helping them in return.

Some supermarkets are a lot cheaper than others. Buying in bulk, choosing different foods and looking for offers vouchers and reductions can save a lot of money. Get advice about your benefit eligibility, get debt advice and check if you are eligible for things like council tax reductions. The Citizens Advice Bureau can help here

Whatever your family circumstances, write down every penny coming in and every penny going out. Question what needs to be spent and where you can make cutbacks or efficiencies.

CONCLUSIONS

School holidays should be a joyous time but the six-week break is a coin with two sides.

There are chances to enjoy your children’s company while they are still young, but yes, also some challenges. Working, earning money, maybe the stresses of full-time childcare while dealing with any problems you have in your own life.

Hopefully this blog has had useful tips for you.

Take time for yourself, remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. There are sources of assistance, family, and professional, and six weeks is not forever. Sometimes it will drag on, but you will hopefully also make memories to cherish. Every day doesn't have to be exciting, as the holiday is also a chance to rest from the pressures of education. Do not be afraid of your children being occasionally bored. It is a normal part of life for adult or child life.

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