Teenagers

Parenting should finish about 11 and re start about 17. There should a camp where teenagers can live, away from their parents, trousers half down speaking their own language. That would be much easier. I mean they don't want to know you, speak to you or really acknowledge you exist. So we wouldn't be missing much.

My granddad used to talk about national service when I was young and it just sounded mad but now I'm a parent of teenagers I'm all for it. That makes me chuckle and I give a nod of yes, you were right, to my granddad.

Where to start, we have three lovely offspring and after 12 years we thought were not perfect but ok. How wrong were we! Children become teenagers and parents of teenagers become stressed and angry. Some of the rows we've had, crazy. I don’t think any of us were enjoying our lives. We communicated on WhatsApp even though they were upstairs. Each message Butting heads.

We have friends in similar positions but conversations felt more like one upmanship about who's teenagers were more rude, ignoring or problematic. People don't have the time or energy to really help. Were in various group chats for support but its easy to get lost in these and there is always a crisis going on. Some more overblown than others. Some parents just seem to want the groups attention and sympathy. It doesn't make me feel great saying that but its true. Group chats can be negative and one spark creates a firestorm of pings. Difficult not to get drawn in with something more extreme to get the attention.

Our conversations with Jane are so different. Her children are grown up and she has a much more level approach and outlook. She's spoken about giving her children space (lots of it) but keep eating at least one meal together. No demands just a meal together. Its a lot harder than it sounds. We have a lot going on but when we can all eat together it's worth doing. One tip that might work for you, go for a drive through and sit in the car and eat it. Difficult not to talk in a car and we've had some surprisingly good conversations in our local McDonald's carpark.

Children don't get easier as they grow up but teenagers can be incredibly frustrating, annoying and whatever else.

Keep calm and hope their teenage years finish soon : )

Alistair (not so angry), Suffolk.