How to balance work and life?

Are you getting the work life balance right? We can Help. You know that feeling? You finally settle in for family dinner, the day’s grind mostly behind you. You lean in, ready to hear all about your child’s adventures, and just as they’re about to spill the beans on a truly epic story, your phone decides to make its presence known. Bzzzt! It’s an “urgent” work email, sitting there, glowing on the table. You glance at it – maybe you don’t even reply – but the moment? Poof. Gone. Your mind, just a second ago tuned into dinosaurs or playground drama, is suddenly back at the office, churning through deadlines and to-do lists. And here’s the kicker: your child can tell. They always can. If that scenario hits a little too close to home, please know this: you are absolutely, unequivocally not alone. That relentless, insistent pull of work isn’t just a nuisance; it’s one of the biggest, most insidious thieves of genuine family connection we face today. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let it steal another precious moment. You can stop it.

 

The Real Cost of Lost Work Life Balance

It’s easy to dismiss these interruptions as just “one lost moment,” a minor blip. But let’s be real, it’s rarely just one. It’s the creeping, unsettling feeling that your family is consistently getting the leftovers of your attention, the scraps of your mental energy. Our kids are incredibly perceptive, aren’t they? They notice when your eyes dart towards that screen mid-sentence, even if it’s just a quick flick. They pick up on it when you offer a vague “uh-huh” but then can’t repeat a single word of the elaborate tale they just shared. These aren’t isolated incidents; they’re tiny, accumulating deposits into a memory bank. And the balance? It starts to look like “Mum was physically here, but her thoughts were a million miles away,” or “Dad’s body was at the table, but his brain was still stuck in that meeting.” Your work life balance is not balanced

 

That gnawing guilt you feel? That knot in your stomach when you realize you’ve missed something important because your mind was elsewhere? That’s not a sign that you’re a bad parent. Far from it. That guilt is actually your internal alarm system, your cue to change the system, not to beat yourself up. It’s telling you that something needs to shift. Because when our attention is constantly divided, it’s not just about missing a story; it’s about the subtle, yet profound, message we send about what truly holds our value. Over time, this can erode the very foundation of connection, leaving both parents and children feeling stressed and undervalued. The good news is, you don’t need to quit your job or move to a cabin in the woods to fix this. In the next few minutes, I’m going to share three dead-simple, actionable steps I use with hundreds of coaching clients to effectively shut down that “work-brain” and reclaim truly present family time.

 

The Shutdown Ritual

First up, let’s talk about creating a shutdown ritual. This isn’t some crazy concept; it’s rooted in solid neuroscience. Our brains, brilliant as they are, absolutely love cues and routines. Think about it: the same song before a workout, the same phrase before a big presentation – these signals tell your brain, “Okay, time to shift gears.” We need to harness that power to tell our prefrontal cortex, “Work day complete. Mission accomplished. Now, on to family mode.”

 

My own ritual is ridiculously simple, and it takes about ninety seconds. I close my laptop with a definitive thump. Then, I say out loud, “Office closed!” It sounds a bit silly, I know, but trust me, it works. Finally, I roll my shoulders back twice, taking a deep exhale through my mouth. When I do this, my seven-year-old knows – truly knows – that Dad is officially back on planet family. He’s home, present, and ready to engage. Your work life balance has begun

 

The beauty of a shutdown ritual is that it can be anything you want it to be. The key is consistency. Pick one specific action, one clear phrase, and one intentional breath. Then, commit to doing it every single day, without fail, even on weekends if you’re doing any work. Why? Because you’re paving a neural highway in your brain. The more consistently you use that cue, the stronger the connection becomes between that action and the mental shift to “off-duty” mode.

 

If you work from home, adding a physical boundary can be incredibly powerful. It’s not just about a mental shift; it’s about a literal transition. Maybe you take a quick walk to the postbox and back, or change out of your “work clothes” into something more casual. Some parents even put on a specific playlist, or just step outside for five minutes of fresh air. The goal here is to give your nervous system the same crystal-clear clarity that your calendar has when that last meeting ends at five o’clock. No ritual, no boundary; no boundary, no true presence. It really is that straightforward. This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about creating a consistent, undeniable signal for your brain and your family that work is done, and you are here.

 

The Tech-Free Zone

Research from the University of Michigan found that even the mere presence of a powered-off smartphone on the table can degrade the quality of a conversation. Think about that for a second. Not buzzing, not ringing, not even turned on – just being there is enough to make us less present, less engaged. Imagine the havoc an active buzz or a constant stream of notifications wreaks on genuine connection. It’s like having a third, very distracting, guest at your table.

 

Now, I know what you might be thinking: Technology free is hard and yes it is but its so worth it.  To have a real conversation, not a look at this video. To have a real work life balance you have to make sacrifices.

 

Tools like autoresponder apps or “Inbox Pause” can buy you grace, allowing you to temporarily halt incoming emails without appearing unresponsive. Your boss, frankly, wants solutions and results, not necessarily immediate availability at 6:17 p.m.

Many companies are catching on and setting work comms bans to encourage a better work life balance.  Whether this is lip service or a real commitment from the company is downto be discovered but if your company offers adhere to it.

The Presence Anchor

Third, and this one is a game-changer for those moments when your mind inevitably starts to drift back to spreadsheets, presentations, or that email you forgot to send: use a presence anchor. Let’s be honest, even with the best intentions, our brains are wired to problem-solve, to replay, to plan. So, the thought of work will sneak back in. The trick isn’t to prevent it entirely – that’s like trying to stop the tide – but to return quickly and smoothly.

 

My personal anchor is a small, blue Lego brick that lives in my pocket. Whenever I catch myself nodding absently while my daughter is talking, or staring blankly at my plate, I subtly squeeze that Lego brick. Then, I silently name five things I can see in the room. “Blue couch, dinosaur sticker on the wall, steam rising from the soup, freckles on my daughter’s nose, the flicker of the candle.” Five seconds, five senses, and boom – my brain is rebooted, pulled firmly back into the present moment.

 

You don’t need a Lego brick, of course. Anything tactile or sensory will do. Maybe it’s the rough seam on your jeans, the comforting warmth of your coffee mug, or the distinct smell of garlic bread baking in the oven. Psychologists call this “grounding,” a technique to bring you back to the here and now by engaging your senses. Kids, being the masters of play, often call it “the pause game,” and they’ll happily play along if you explain it. You can even make it a shared activity: “Okay, everyone, let’s play the five-senses game!”

 

The miracle here isn’t that you’ll never drift. We’re human, and our minds wander. The true miracle is that you’ll learn to return fast enough, so swiftly that your child doesn’t even register that you left. They won’t feel abandoned mid-story, or like their words are landing on deaf ears. Every time you drop an anchor, every time you consciously pull yourself back, you’re strengthening the muscle of presence. And let me tell you, presence? That’s the currency your kids value more than any amount of time. It’s the feeling of being truly seen, truly heard, and truly loved.

 

 Quick Troubleshooting

Alright, let’s tackle a couple of common objections that often pop up when we talk about setting these kinds of boundaries.

 

Objection one: “My job is 24/7; I literally can’t ignore calls.” I hear you. Some roles demand a level of responsiveness that feels impossible to escape. But even in those scenarios, there are strategies. First, utilize the VIP list feature on your phone. Most smartphones allow you to designate certain contacts whose calls or messages can break through “do not disturb” mode. So, only your manager’s number, or perhaps a critical client, gets through. Everything else? It waits. You can even tell your child, “Look, if this specific ringtone happens, it means it’s a real emergency, and I need thirty seconds to say, ‘I’ll call you back at eight.'” They learn that emergencies exist, yes, but they also learn that they are rare, and your default is them. This also aligns with delegating and sharing responsibilities. Can a colleague cover for a specific window? Have you explored any employer-provided flexible work arrangements that might allow you to adjust your schedule slightly?

Advocating for these small changes can make a huge difference. work life balance isn’t about shutting work off completely its about getting the balance right that works for both sides.

Objection two: “I feel incredibly guilty setting these boundaries. It feels selfish.” This is a big one, and it’s a mindset shift we absolutely need to make. Let’s flip the script entirely. Your kids are always watching you, always learning. They model what they see. When they observe you consistently protecting your family time, what message are you sending them? You’re teaching them invaluable lessons about self-respect, about prioritizing relationships, about managing their own stress, and about the importance of balance. You’re showing them how to set healthy boundaries for their future partners and their future kids. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they are, in fact, one of the first, most powerful lessons in self-respect and healthy relationships your child will ever get from you, live and in vibrant color. You’re not depriving them; you’re equipping them. You’re not being selfish; you’re being a powerful role model.

 

Small steps to better work life balance

This probably feels like a lot so just try it one and if it works commit to trying that one thing for three days straight. When you succeed for three days, you’ve built a little bit of momentum. That’s your cue to add the next step. Remember, momentum beats perfection every single time. This isn’t about being flawless from day one; it’s about consistent, incremental progress.

 

And if you blow it tomorrow? If the phone buzzes and you instinctively grab it, or you forget your ritual? That’s okay. Seriously, it’s part of the process. Don’t let that one misstep derail your entire effort. Just reboot at breakfast the next morning. Kids are incredibly forgiving, and they forget fast, especially when they can feel you genuinely trying. They don’t need you to be perfect; they just need you to be present, and to keep showing up and making the effort.

 

The ultimate goal here isn’t a Pinterest-perfect dinner with angelic children and gourmet food (like that’s ever going to happen anyway) . It’s far more profound than that. The goal is a child who, when asked about their parents, can say with absolute certainty and a warm smile, “When Mum’s here, she’s really here,” or “When Dad’s with me, he’s all there.” And they’ll mean every single word of it. That feeling, that connection, is worth every bit of effort.

 

Conclusion – CTA

Imagine this with me, two weeks from now. The phone buzzes on the counter, but it’s a distant sound, almost irrelevant. You’ve already done your shutdown ritual, signaling to your brain that work is officially off-duty. That device? It’s safely parked in its designated charging tray, out of sight and out of mind. Your eyes, your full attention, stay locked on your kid as they show you their art work, or recount the most important detail of their day. That genuine smile that spreads across your face? You can’t fake that kind of joy, and more importantly, they can’t un-feel that kind of pure, undivided connection. That’s the magic we’re aiming for.

 

I hope you achieve your work life balance. Yes Work pays the bills and put a roof over your head but its not your life.  Your family is the greatest and most important thing in your life.

Don’t be that parent who has an amazing career but hasn’t seen their children grow up.

 

CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to connect with your children and spend quality time together.  How to balance work and family life to ensure both are focused and not neglected. How to leave your parenting guilt at the door and build a solid and happy relationship with your children.

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CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to connect with your children and spend quality time together.  How to leave your parenting guilt at the door and build a solid and happy relationship with your children.