Why do children need positive role models?
Younger children look up to their parents like hero’s. Sheer bewilderment about how amazing you are. How you are the source of knowledge and authority. For them you are the source of the universe but as children grow so do influences on them. They begin to form their own opinions and find influence and hero worship elsewhere. As parents you understand this. As difficult as it is to relinquish that role, you cannot be your child’s only hero. There has to be space for other hero’s for your children but as parents you cannot control these choices or influences.
Your parents probably spoke about not falling in with the wrong crowd and while that is true there is a whole new crowd on-line and in social media. So many of these influences are poor and /or misguided.
Your children need positive role models. As parents we need to guide them or at the very least be able to have a conversation to counter the toxic bubbles that exist online. Teenage years especially can be hard and parents need to keep on talking, keep on being a positive part your child’s life.
Positive role model’s are like a light that guide your children through a dark forest of life where pitfalls and evils lurk. Self doubt, body shaming, drugs, alcohol the list is endless but your child is not alone you are their for them. You are their guide and you may lose sight of them at times but you keep your beacon of positively and support aloft for them.
Parents need to be able to provide positive support and guidance for their children.
It sounds so obvious but so many parent lose sight of this. ‘They’ve made their own choices and must suffer the consequences.’ While natural consequence is a way of learning its not a way of washing your hands of you children. Your children need that positive guide throughout their lives. We never lose the need for parental support and wisdom. Cosychats is built upon the benefit of sharing experience and knowledge and this is so true of the parent child relationship.
You never give up on your children.
There are so many competing influences and voices tempting your children.
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The Power of Social Media and the Internet
We know children no longer watch TV preferring social media videos and influencers.
Children spend six hours or more a day on screens – BBC News
This is a world parents may not understand or be part of. Its a largely an unregulated world relying on the free speech argument. Online safety laws unsatisfactory, Technology Secretary Peter Kyle says – BBC News
Children can now easily find role models online and here in lies the problem. There is little or no regulation that prevents children forming unrealistic and damaging expectations due to the influence of role models.
If you think this is harmless browsing think again.
Kent headteachers back smartphone ban after Netflix’s Adolescence – BBC News
‘Boys formed Andrew Tate club in School’ – teacher
Our experience echo’s this where my 11 year old son starting quoting Andrew Tate to me. Talking about women in a derogatory way and using explicit terms. I was quite shocked but i shouldn’t have been surprised. This is the world they live in.
What did surprise me was that he didn’t take much notice of me. I was the positive role model and being ignored
When i tried to explain why Andrew Tate wasn’t a positive role model. What Andrew Tate represents and says aren’t good things, he looked at me and said i didn’t know what i was talking about. This wasn’t going to be a quick conversation and it took plenty of explaining to challenge the stereotype he had formed.
How to create positive role models for children?
Be a positive role model.
Now more than ever parents need to be positive role models. Check your behavior. Think about what you project to your children. Re-enforce your own positive behaviour.
Talk to your children.
Understand what they are viewing. Whet they are interested in. Who their friends are. Its not an inquisition, do it calmly and compassionately.
Discuss things.
If they mention a influence or belief you don’t agree with explore it with them. Don’t just shut them down. With my son it took a few conversations to put an alternative view across. I didn’t just say Andrew Tate was wrong as that’s my view. Its about understanding his view and exploring it to educate him and then re enforcing the education.
Be vigilant
Its surprising how quickly views from. From an early age. In the BBC report the boys were under 10. Social media and the internet mean your children are exposed to greater content at an earlier age. That positive role model may not be in your child’s life and you don’t realise it.
Check your internet setting.
If you don’t have child filters on, turn them on but don’t rely on them. They didn’t stop my son learning about Andrew Tate.
Promote positive influences
Use positive role models. Explore and share positive role models. Don’t force it maybe just put a picture up and let them explore. Use local clubs. Sports clubs can have positive role models and have positive influences built in. Boxing clubs teach respect and self discipline. Football clubs promote team work. Libraries usually have book and reading clubs. We have a great local art centre that does loads of half terms clubs and events to promote creativity and self expression.
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