Why you should never hit your children.
Imagine that one day. Something terrible happens to your child. Something so terrible you must go through the unimaginable pain and heartache of having to bury the most cherished and loved part of you. Your child.
The grief and pain would be incomprehensible, unbearable. You would question life itself.
Now imagine standing, watching your son or daughter leaving you. Your brain would not be able to process what your eyes were seeing.
The incredible darkness, pain and guilt that would be cast over you forever.
You, flashing back to the last time your hit your child. Rather than use another method of discipline you just choose to hit them.
Anger, Hurt, Resentment
We are sincerely and deeply sorry for any distress this causes. If you have been through any loss, we wish you all our deepest love and best wishes. We encourage you to seek help.
Our intention is not to cause distress or hurt, it is to emphasise that children are so very precious, and every child deserves to be brought up without being hit.
Nothing gives you the right to hit your children. They are your children, but they do not belong to you, they are not a piece of furniture. You care for them, love them, and nurture them. You do not own, or have any right to strike them.
Imagine,
your child suffering a horrible, incurable disease or horrific accident. That puts your son or daughter into a coffin. Gone forever. Visualise that in your mind. The incredible pain and suffering you would have of never seeing your child again. The absolute emptiness their loss would leave. Think about this and form a mental picture in your mind of what this looks like.
Now freeze frame this vision, the dark empty emotional state you are. Feel the grief and guilt that would envelop you.
Open a dark strong box in your mind and put this vision and those thoughts into it. In your mind close this box.
Next Time
You feel that rush of anger and your about to strike your child. Open that strong box in your mind. Think of that cold coffin with your child in it, being buried. With you remembering the hurt and heart ache you caused because you could not control your emotions and were unable to stop yourself hitting your child.
Think about this and walk away. Don't engage, walk away thinking about that coffin and how precious your child is. Whatever your child has done, walk away. Calm down. Think rationally and calmly. Possessions can be replaced. Time (good and bad) with your child cannot.
Make a promise
We're not expecting you to be the perfect parents, no one is but please at this point make a mental promise to yourself and your children. From This point onwards I promise never to hit my children.
Please do this, now.
Pushing your buttons
Ok let us be realistic, all parents know a child can push every button you have ('I love them, but they can drive me mad’ ‘They promised to do it, they haven’t, now I am annoyed’) and at certain times push you to your edge. To a person and emotional state, you don’t want to be.
Do not let that raging beast inside you get the better of you. Don’t use hurt and physical hurt to discipline and teach your children.
Your experience or upbringing may have been different. That is past. Resigned to history.
Look to the future and having a healthy and respectful relationship with your child.
Children thrive on boundaries and routine. For your sanity you need to have discipline
CosyChats is intended to be a resource for people to share experiences for the benefit of others. While that itself is beneficial we must also promote good. Having children is an incredible gift not everyone is granted, some will get children through adoption and fostering but whatever the route children must be cherished and respected and never hit.
We are parents, we know children can be very demanding and drive you to your wits end but we hope the above can help you step back from the edge and walk away, consider the consequences of what you're doing and teaching your children. Consider other behaviours that teach your children discipline and respect.
This is a huge topic but essentially quite a simple one, demanding of you as a parent, that you commit to not hit your children. You (and your children) will be a better (and grow up to be better) people for it.
Please take the time to browse our Service Providers, engage and learn. Put in place please triggers and mechanisms that work for you. Help you calm and be in control of your emotions and hands.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. We’d love to hear from you and share your stories.
If you wish to provide content or work with us, please contact us at contact@cosychats.com
You may wish to read
If you’re reading this shouting at the screen, don’t agree or can’t control your emotions, we implore you to discuss this. To explore what drives you to do this and what other methods you can use to influence your and your child’s behaviour. Hitting (and teaching your child to hit) is not the answer. #
Why Hitting your Children isn't the answer.
- There are more effective ways.
- Adults tend to hit children when they have lost control.
- Behaviour breeds behaviour.
- It damages your relationship with your child.
- You don't need to.