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Parental Support For Fearful Children

How to provide parental support to fearful children?

A new survey of the perception of safe spaces for women casts a worrying fear among young women as to their safety.

The survey of women found, 31% of women avoiding taking public transport alone and 56% of women feel unsafe travelling alone, a third of women avoiding public transport.

The survey also found, 86% of women avoided going out after dark, rising in girls of colour. Fears around women’s safety being paramount in the responses.

Fears around solo travel and personal safety for women have led to behaviour changes with girls changing what they wear, where they socialise and exercise to avoid harassment.

The survey also worryingly identified young women respondents  do not feel schools are safe places, 58% of school children saying they had heard toxic comments including 32% of young women  seeing a member of staff subjected to sexist or misogynistic abuse.

With 1 in  10 school girls saying they did not feel safe at school.  The figures rise across the board for LGBTQ+ or  disabled girls with  pupils intentionally missing school to avoid harassment.

These are worrying statistics that represent the fear that exists in so many young women. For parents this fear presents a parenting challenge. How to keep your children safe and give them the confidence to live their life.

How do Parents Support Fearful Children?

Parent Support Action No1- Identify the fear in your child.

My son is terrified of tsunamis. We has a real fear of tsunamis, so much so he doesn’t really like going to the sea side. We know this because when we go to the seaside he gets nervous. His fear is clearly displayed but when your child’s behaviour isn’t.

As the survey results above show children avoid their fears by avoiding the situation. The behaviour may mask the fear. As parents children not wanting to go to school is common but understanding the reasons why helps understand the fear. 1 in 10 children saying they did not feel safe at school.

Parent Support Action No2. – Having an open, shame and blame free dialogue with your child.

Parent support is often giving your children space and security to communicate without fear of embarrassment or shame.  In the same way Cosychats offers, Parent support free from judgement and shame, parents need to offer their children the same safe space.  Where children can communicate their feeling’s and fears openly.

Don’t dismiss your child’s fears as trivial or unrealistic.

Your child’s fears are fears for them. They may out grow them but at his moment they are real and impact full  to your child.

When providing parent support one of the CosyChats motto’s is ‘No problem is too big, No question too small or trivial’.  We offer that support to parents.  Parents need to offer the same support and free safe space to their children.  This will allow them to understand their children and understand their fears.

Parent Support Action No3. – Understanding your child’s fears allows you to understand their actions.

Your child is afraid of being bullied at school for being different. To avoid the bullying they avoid school.

Without this understanding you just see a child refusing to go to school.  With the understanding you know why they don’t want to go to school and can help.

Parent Support Action No4 – Deciding how best to help a fearful child.

We helped our son by understanding his fear more.  He fears tsunamis but also fears a natural disaster ending his family life.  He fears being left alone and losing his family. This really helped us understand him and allowed us to help him.

Your child’s fear may justified or not. It doesn’t really matter I think. Its their fear. Its how they deal with it that matters. How you as a parent support them in dealing with their fears.

Whether that is avoiding the fear or accepting the fear and continuing.

The older I’ve got the more afraid i am of roller coasters and fairground rides.  I don’t go on rides.  I’m fearful and i’m OK with that.  It works for me but fear can prevent you living your life.

Parenting Support – How to Support a Fearful Child

Conclusions for Parent Support.
  1. Create a safe space to communicate with your child
  2. Identify and understand your child’s fears and behaviours
  3. Accept not dismiss fears.
  4. Decide how best to help your child.

CosyChats is a Parent Support Service for Parents.

CosyChats supports personalised parent support. CosyChats offers a parenting safe space free from judgement and shame where no question is too small and not issue to big.
Why Parents Should use the CosyChats parent support service.

🛟1-2-1 Personalised Parent Support Sessions

🧷Safe Parent Support Spaces Free From Judgement and Shame

👍🏼Where No Parenting Problem Is Too Big and No Parenting Question Too Small

👩‍👦Parents Supporting Parents Offering Compassion and Understanding

🆘Practical Parenting Support Created by UK Parents

🧑🏼‍🦱Parent Mentoring from Parents with Real Lived Parenting Knowledge & Experience

💻Online Parenting Support from the comfort of your own home.

Top 10 Benefits of the CosyChats parent support service.

👍🏼Access to a wealth of Parenting Experience and Knowledge.

👍🏼A Personal Parenting Mentor for you

👍🏼Parent support via phone, Text or On-Line.

👍🏼Parent Support Groups for key development stages

👍🏼Flexible parenting support sessions.

👍🏼Online parenting support at a reasonable cost.

👍🏼Parent support sessions can be gifted to a parent who needs parental support.

👍🏼Parent to parent support group harness wide parenting experience.

👍🏼Parenting support services are booked in 10 minute slots.

👍🏼Parenting support from real parents who want to help.

 

Call to action. – Parents need to educate their sons.

Educating your children to improve women’s safety.

If the survey results disappointed, saddened and scared you, as they did me then do something about it. Parents lets be more proactive around women’s safety. Be proactive in discussions with your children. Be mindful of influences on your children.  Counter the toxic male stereotypes and behaviours that are promoted against women.  Teach our children to be respectful and value women’s safety. To understand actions and words can have a serious impact on another persons fears and self worth.

As a parent of boys and girls this is so important as we have seen the toxic impact on all our children.

Being parents isn’t easy and there are more and more traps and pitfalls to fall into.  That’s why we set up CosyChats com to help support and guide parents.

CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to educate your children and give them the best and most effective life skills.

If you need help being a parent.  Raising happy and well rounded children. We’re here for you offering practical and emotional support.  Parenting knowledge and experience, all in a judgment free space.

More Parent Support From CosyChats

Does your child spend their life on-line?

Women’s safety fears can lead children and teenagers to spend more time on-line. A teenagers life can increasing be on-line and not real world. Should we as parents be worried about this? Read our latest blog ‘When On-line Becomes Your Teenagers Life



Are you fearful of your daughter going out but also staying in too much. Modern parenting can be confusing and contradictory. We’re parents to and were here to provide Parenting help and Support.

Parents do you struggle to balance work and life?

You need to Read This blog ‘How to Balance Work and Life’ and still have time for your family.

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

– Dolly Parton, Country Singer

Parents Of Teenagers on Cosychats.

 

Thank you for reading this blog (Parental Support For Fearful Children).

Survey resource

CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to connect with your children and spend quality time together.  How to leave your parenting guilt at the door and build a solid and happy relationship with your children.

 

child checking whatsapp messages while parent wonders if whatsapp is safe

Is WhatsApp SAFE for KIDS?

Is WhatsApp safe for children. A question we’ve been asking ourselves more and more recently. We say is WhatsApp safe for children but there are other messaging apps but WhatsApp is the one we know and use as parents.

My wife’s phones bleeps when messages are received into her school parents WhatsApp group. You know when somethings up as the bleeps get more frequent and the interval between bleeps shortens.

😟😟 Are You Drowning in Parenting Chaos? Scroll to bottom for help 😟😟

Its like artillery in a war, each side exchanging salvos of fire. The salvos getting more intense as the argument escalates. Its easy for parents to be drawn into WhatsApp arguments so its not surprising children do the same. This makes us think is WhatsApp safe for children?

The message are usually to do with a school (children’s) Whats App group and the messages the children have sent. Whats App (and other messaging platforms) allow easy communication between members and like any group there will be disagreement that can escalate.

The problem is there is no moderator within the group. The children are exchanging messages quickly and without consideration for what they are saying.

Are children mature enough to use Whats App?

WhatsApp has an age restriction of 13 but this is just an arbitrary number. It doesn’t mean on your child’s 13th birthday they are mature and equipped enough to use WhatsApp. Previously it was 16 before Meta reduced it. So what age is WhatsApp safe for children?

The golden question. Is your child ready for Whats App?

Are they mature enough? Sufficiently technology literature? Old enough not to be drawn into harmful conversations? Strong enough to know when to drop off and speak out?

Our son has a phone but he doesn’t have Whats App or other messaging access (don’t think the problem is just Whats App).

We don’t think he’s mature or ready for Whats App. His friends have it and its causing problems.

Things are shared that cause issues. Some aren’t age appropriate. Comments are made and conversations happen that draw in parents, school and sometimes police. I feel sorry for the school being drawn into conversations on messaging platforms that really have nothing to do with the school day. You can argue Whats App is just the platform for the messaging and this is true.

It is the platform that allows such easy communication but without WhatsApp does the same communication and issues happen?

Well no based on this schools experience.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxy1n9dgl3o

‘Phone and shouting ban ‘transforms’ school plagued by fights

Fights arranged in school via social media, then filmed and shared online.

Almost overnight, exclusions [for violence] reduced,” said head teacher Mike Tate, who introduced the ban at the secondary school in Ely, Cardiff, last summer.’

Technology makes communication easier. Which is an amazing and beneficial thing in the right hands but children need to be educated to be technology literate. Schools need to play their part in educating children and instilling good behaviours and understanding in children.

Parents also need to step up and realise that phones are gateways to the world but also a portal to a crazy and unregulated world of chatter, threats abuse bullying and never ending

messaging.

Every parent want to protect their child and for our son we feel he’s not ready for that yet. He wants what his friends have. To be included but the sound of my wife’s phones bleeping as parents struggle to resolve Whats App messaging issues strengthens my resolve not to allow him onto Whats App until we’re sure he’s ready for it.

I wonder in years to come if we’ll look back and wonder why we gave school children such powerful and dangerous tools but I doubt it.

I don’t think society will ever catch up. The demand for technology is huge and as a society we can’t complain when we are fueling the demand for every increasingly sophisticated apps and devices but and its a huge but, as parents we must understand and protect our children from technology until they are equipped and able to manage it. When you think is WhatsApp safe its not a matter of it must be because everyone else is using it, its whats right for your child.

You wouldn’t let your child drive a car to school. Cars are as safe as they’ve ever been but in the wrong hands still incredibly dangerous things capable of such destruction and misery. Think of a phone and Whats App access in the same terms. Safe in the right hands, destructive in the wrong and if you think there is no comparison between the destructive power of a phone and a car. Then I think your wrong and we all need to educate ourselves.

This isn’t a all technology is bad post. Technology is amazing but with every amazing thing comes responsibility and risk. The risk of bulling so harmful that it impacts child’s life and well being. The risk of a petty argument escalating into a fight with tragic consequences. As sad and avoidable as it is, it happens and we as parents must understand the risks.

We have taken the view of being safer than sorry and for our son now, he’s not ready for Whats App access. I’m sure we’ll agree to it at some point but only when were sure he’s ready and able to deal with it and everything it brings.

Whats App is widely used as example in this blog as Whats App is the most widely platform used we believe but there are others messaging apps Viber, Signal, Snapchat, Discord, Telegram.

This blog was written by a father of three adopted children. A family that deals with everything adoption and life brings. Like every parent and family we don’t get everything right. Far from it but we are trying our best every day to get as much right and right for us as we can.

Best wishes to you all. Parenting is not easy and doesn’t get any easier.

Resources To Help.

We were subsequently contacted by a fellow parent  who shared his concerns over on-line safety for his children and others.  A concern many parents have including ourselves.  Helpfully the parent shared this blog The 20+ Safest Online Communities for Kids  which details on-line communities inc games, social media forums and educational platforms  which could be considered safer for children, for example by having active chat filters and in game moderators.

🚨🧸CosyChats Personalised Parent Support for You, because Family Is Everything.👨‍👩🏾‍👧🏽‍👦😊

CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to protect you children from the negative influences of technology and how connect with your children and spend quality time together. How to leave your parenting guilt at the door and build a solid and happy relationship with your children.

Introducing CosyChats.

🛟1-2-1 Personalised Parent Support Sessions

🧷 Safe Spaces Free From Judgement and Shame

👍🏼Where No Problem Is Too Big and No Question To Small

👩‍👦Offering Compassion and Understanding

🆘From Real Parents Who Know How Difficult Being a Parent Can Be

🧑‍🤝‍🧑Real Lived Knowledge & Experience

💻Virtual Sessions Where You Are In Control




Top 10 Benefits of the CosyChats service.

👍🏼Access to a wealth of Parenting Experience and Knowledge.

👍🏼Your own personalised 1-2-1 service.

👍🏼A safe space free from judgement and shame.

👍🏼You are in control and choose the CosyChats parent and service that’s right for you.

👍🏼Years of lessons learnt and experience gained that can all be shared.

👍🏼Being understood and your needs heard.

👍🏼No question is too small, no problem too big.

👍🏼Compassion and support from people who understand how difficult being a parent can be.

👍🏼Its affordable and is far greater value than professional providers.

👍🏼Meetings are on online so you can join from where you feel most comfortable.

CosyChats is a personalised parent support Service that can provide support to parents across a wide range of parenting issues including how to protect you children from the negative influences of technology and how to connect with your children and spend quality time together.