School plays a huge part in your child’s life. One of the biggest topics we hear from our parents community* is issues communicating with school and not getting the results or response parents require. In this blog we explore how to effectively communicate with school. What not to do and how to approach issues and communication with school.
*Cosychats.com is a parenting community built by parents for parents. CosyChats.com hosts experienced and knowledgeable parents who are able to provide personalised parental support and parent mentoring.
Good communication with school not only supports your child’s learning but also creates a collaborative environment where issues can be raised and challenges addressed constructively.
Why Parents Need To Work and Communicate Effectively With Schools
Joined Up Education
At the heart of a child’s education is cooperation between parents and educators. When parents stay informed and engaged, they can help reinforce learning at home, understand school expectations, and quickly address any issues that arise. Moreover, schools benefit from parental input, which can offer valuable insight into a child’s needs, strengths, and circumstances.
Your Child’s Welfare At School and Home
Both parents and teachers need to understand a child behaviour not just what they see. A classic is the child that suppresses their emotions and behaviour at school only to release all their emotions and anger once they come home. Parents bearing the brunt. Teachers needs to understand your child’s 24/7 behaviour not just what they see in the classroom.
Why? because issues at school are impacting home life and the child needs more support. The fact teachers don’t see the behaviour doesn’t mean its not happening.
When School is Informed They Are Aware Of The Issue.
CosyChats.com is a parenting community and one of the issues we encounter is parents facing schools who aren’t aware of issues at home. Sometimes teachers putting their heads in the sand to issues outside the school gates and sometimes parents not clearly explaining and documenting the communication.
Clearly raising, documenting and being able to evidence communication allows parents to more hold education providers to account.
School Life Matters.
School matters to your child and is a huge part of your child’s life. Education provides the academic building blocks to your child’s life but also crafts social interactions, confidence, communications skills and so many life skills.
Parents entrust teachers with their children but playgrounds can be Petri dishes of bullying and social exclusion.
Parents cannot protect their children from the harsh realities of life and that life begins in schools. From nick names to cliques. Children are formed and scarred by school.
Strategies for Parents to Communicate Effectively With School
Don’t communicate when angry or upset.
Words said in anger or frustration can often be regretted. Communicating when angry or upset can be harmful and undermine your argument.
Yes you express your feelings of anger but this may trigger teachers and result in negative outcomes.
CosyChats.com is a parenting community and we hear of instances where relationships with school have broken down or deteriorated when ‘heat of the moment’ emails or calls placed. Rational thinking is difficult when angry.
Take time to calm down. Establish and understand the facts. Consider the best course of action.
Telling someone how angry you were at the time conveys the message and emotion far better than being angry. It shows you are reasonable and a parent that is respectful to school and looking for solutions.
Banning orders from school.
Head teachers have the power to ban you from the premises if they deem your behaviour aggressive, abusive or a risk to pupils or staff. This includes parents evenings and events.
Don’t over communicate
The cardinal sin, over communicating and becoming a burden. You may think that’s the schools problem but all it does is dilute the effectiveness of your message.
Over-communicating leads to respondent apathy or being put to he bottom of the pile.
Source answers yourself. Check school messages and websites for answers.
Know and Understand Communication Channels:
Schools have different methods for communication and parents should follow guidance on communication. For example if the teacher prefers parents to use an app or email for non urgent queries then follow their guidance.
Be Mindful of Recording and Evidencing :
Communication through email and schools apps creates a formal trail and evidence. This is good when you want to record issues but be mindful it also records your words.
Be mindful of writing something that could weaken your argument or be turned back against you. For instance parents saying they know their child can be a little impulsive but….., teachers can use this to explain behaviour when it may not be relative to the point.
For Complex Issues Seek Support
Seek help for complex and important issues.
You may need help understanding the law. A schools obligation and duty of care to your child.
Your child may require additional support that the teacher is unwilling or unable to provide but the law may stipulate the school has to provide it. We’ve sat in meeting before where the head of year has said they cannot meet the child’s until it has been pointed out that the law says they must. This can be quite a leveler of arguments.
Feeling Ignored by School?
Cosychats.com is a parenting community and often parents say they their feeling are ignored by school. Read our blog here
Are Schools IGNORING Parents’ Concerns?
Be Clear and Respectful:
An important one, anger or aggression can shut down your argument very quickly. When communicating concerns or questions, use polite language and focus on facts. Clarity helps prevent misunderstandings and promotes a positive tone. Keeping schools and teachers on side is key.
Understand the Teachers Perspective. Be Open and Co-Operative :
Always consider and understand the school’s perspective. This will help you understand the problem and what teachers can and can’t do to help. It will help with communication and searching for solutions. Working with the school is usually more productive than working against it.
Parenting Support and Parental Mentoring.
CosyChats.com is a parenting community hosting experienced and knowledgeable parents who can provide personalised parent support and parenting mentoring. CosyChats.com offers a parenting safe space free from judgement and shame where no question is too small and no issue to big.
Communicate Positives as well as Problems.
Teachers like to receive positive communication however small. A lesson they enjoyed or a joyful moment in school. This really helps build relationships.
Our child attends a SEN department within a main stream school. This works really well for him and he gets the support he needs. To recognise this we emailed the head praising the SEN team and the work they had done with our son. It was the right thing to do and deserved but also helped build positive relationship with the school.
Remember to praise and feedback.
Following rules and policies. Choose Your Battles
Schools impose penalties and reflection times for pupils who breach the schools rules. As a parent you may not agree the penalty or feel its too harsh but it is the rule.
Sometimes its better to accept the penalty and move on. Like the driver caught speeding, attend the driver awareness course and move on. To fight the penalty is too draining and pointless.
What to do when you child refuses to go to school?
CosyChats.com host parents who provide parenting support and parental mentoring including dealing with children who refuse to go to school. Read our blog
What to do when you child refuses to go to school?
Read messages and alerts – understand whats going on.
Keep up to date with changes. Don’t be caught out by things the school has communicated.
Attend Meetings and Events:
Participating in parent-teacher meetings, functions, or workshops signals commitment and strengthens relationships with staff.
It says to the school your supportive and reasonable. Creating goodwill with teachers is a good thing. If you need to, remind yourself your doing this for your child.
IS Free-Range Parenting RIGHT for Your Kids?
Its easy to think of free range parenting as a Hollywood fad that’s really just 70’s parenting.
Its true free range parenting is all about allowing greater freedoms to teach your children independence, resilience, problem solving and many more skills that prepare them for adult life.
IS Free-Range Parenting RIGHT for Your Kids?
Advocate Constructively:
When challenges occur, approach teachers with solutions or requests for support rather than blame. This approach encourages problem-solving collaboration.
Encourage Your Child’s Voice:
Involve children in discussions about their learning and school life, empowering them to communicate their experiences and concerns. Allowing your child a voice ensures your working on their behalf and not contradicting what they want.
Conclusion
Have an open and constructive relationship – Especially in secondary schools were the communication is more remote.
It is far better to work with teachers than against them.
Far better and more productive to be reasonable than unreasonable.
If your not getting the help and support you think you should be, seek help. Be clear on the facts and the obligation school has to your child.
Never communicate when angry. Calm down first.
Dealing with schools can be challenging especially when teachers disagree with you. Getting angry won’t necessarily help your agreement or case but getting help can do.
CosyChats.com hosts experienced parent who can provide Personalised Parent Support including interacting and communicating with schools.
CosyChats supports personalised parent support. CosyChats offers a parenting safe space free from judgement and shame where no question is too small and not issue to big.
Why Parents Should use the CosyChats parent support service.
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Top 10 Benefits of the CosyChats parent support service.
👍🏼Access to a wealth of Parenting Experience and Knowledge.
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If you have to complain about a school you can find more details here.